Order Before Increase

Order before increase. One of the wisest guys I know told me that. Upon first hearing it, I must admit that I cringed. If I am anything, it is the farthest thing from orderly.
I will have order!” Wha-lam! The gavel smashes into the sounding block breaking the thick layer of shocked chatter in the courtroom.  Once more, the judge demands order, this time in a firm but muted tone. We’ve all seen this plot play out on TV, some of us have seen it in real life – A shocking reveal is made during the legal proceedings and the courtroom goes wild with hushed voices. Everyone is only just barely whispering but the distorted whispers form a choir of white noise. Unbearable. The judge will not stand for such disorder in the courts. Order will be had.
Order. So many things require order. Where do I start?? Often, I find myself wishing I had a large gavel and sounding block, to pierce through the chaos in my mess. This year, I made that declaration. “I will have order.” There are days where I find myself repeating those words whilst my adorable children make enormous messes and suddenly catch a case of amnesia when it is time to clean up; in whiny tones, they huff out: “I don’t know how to clean up mom”. I occasionally try to assert this authority over the dishes or the laundry – at least when it elicits no return then, I can laugh at myself for talking to my chores.
Now, I may not have an actual gavel which I can crash into an actual sounding block, but I do have power. I have authority to declare and enforce order in my life. While I’m sure that my chores will never shape up and do themselves, and my children may forever be so dramatic; order starts from within. The first place order must be is in me. So, often and (sometimes) firmly, I declare. “I will have order.” I say sometimes firmly because, other times, it’s a whimper or a plea. Tainted with a hint of surrender.
Oh, surrender. I’ve never been very fond of surrender either. Perhaps that’s wherein my hang up lies. Surrender has such . . . Vulnerable connotations. Taking great risks requires vulnerability. When I find a way to surrender my angst, it is then that I find order in my thoughts. Without ordering my thoughts, how can I ever expect to order my time, talents, or even my life in general?!
I will have order within me. I will have order in my life. One day I’ll look back and realize that the increase has come.
Order. Before. Increase. 


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