Only Suspicion.

Recently I attended a good friend’s wedding, it was a gorgeous, HOT out door wedding and the bride was breathtaking. It was pretty neat, we were given these adorable orient-inspired paper umbrellas, to bare the relentless sun. During the ceremony, the officiator said something which I have heard my entire life, both in wedding ceremonies and in general in speaking of Christ and the Church. See, often we are referred to as Christ’s Bride. We are His Beloved, His Chosen. And, that phrase “You, as the head of this union shall love your Bride as Christ loves the Church, even unto death. . . ” That got me thinking.

Alright, stay with me, here.

So many couples are joined together in the excitement of new love, mystery, (because, even if one has been married previously, this is new,  this woman or this man is new), and promises to love and endure. I don’t believe any one of us marries thinking “in two, five, twenty or so years, I’m going to become discontented with this relationship, be hurt, my spouse is going to cheat or do horrible things and we’re going to go down crashing and leave debris and destruction where we land”. Yet, somehow, too many end up in that situation; an affair, an angry drunken night, bills get too much to bare, the love is just gone. I had to ask my self, HOW? How do we traverse from a love that would give it’s own life, not even just to save the other, but to satisfy the other’s desires and needs? How do we descend from a love that is all consuming, yet simultaneously completely yielding. When does love quietly sneak out of our back door to run from hate, distrust, fear and other intruders which seek to divide and destroy such a beautiful mystery as this? When, and How? Could it be the bliss (and therefore ignorance) that a new couple is in? Is it that reality invades the relationship, overwhelms bliss and destroys it? That can’t be it. It has to be deeper.

So, if the marriage relationship is a direct example of the spiritual union that we possess with Christ, I wonder, that same thing. If we start our relationship with Christ out with so much love and excitement, we see such wondrous happenings and are overcome with more love than fathomable, how then, is it that such a seemingly indelible sentiment all but disappears? It has to be deeper than mere ignorance to the trials that one has yet to experience . . . it has to.

I have no answer, only suspicion, that those that were able to withstand the fires (in both spiritual and physical relations) know what that something deeper is, even if they couldn’t tell it in a few words, they know. They have found where the indelible sentiment has a fountain of youth and despite battles and wars waged against such perfection, these are the victors. I pray that one day, my husband and I will be one of these lovely couples who I so look up to, and until then I will be voracious to seek out and soak up, like a dry sponge, every ounce of wisdom-which literally is just waiting my discovery.

I’m in heavy pursuit to find the intersection of wisdom and reality and when I find such a place, there I will erect a sturdy home and it will be filled with bliss.

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